Prefection [not] in Frailty

Still, I remember exactly
how your hand fit into mine.
Your kiss still lingers on my lips.
Tell me when I'll get over this.

is it wrong to assume that you missed me?
because the look in your eyes says that you're dying
to kiss me the touch of your lips is tasteful and
forgiving a part of the past that I don't mind reliving.

It`s hard to wait around for
something that will never happen,
but it`s even harder to stop
when it`s everything you want..♥

I've learned that guys can make the greatest friends.
One of my best friends is a guy, and I can tell him anything.
Except for the fact that I'm absolutely crazy for him.
I usually leave that part out of our conversations.

Don't change anything about yourself for a guy ;
because that one thing that you changed ;
may have been the one thing he loved about you.

shut the heck up.you are worth it.
you're worth every guy in that friken school.
but you don`t see that.
I'm here trying to tell you that you are,
but you won't listen.

so it's not just the phone calls or kodakit's
not just the laughs or smiles ;
it's having each other's back and being a shoulder to cry on;
it's simply loving each other until the day's end.
&& that's what makes us
[ b e s t f r i e n d s] ♥

You know someone is a true friend when,
you are about to break down && cry,
but they will say the stupidest,
most random thing just to see you smile.

Those who cry are stronger than those who hold it inside.

because you're beautiful & you don't know it
because you're smart & you don't believe it.
you're the kind of girl that guys don't get over.
& you're the kind of the kind of other girls get compared to.

Sometimes you have to be like Kelly Clarkson.
You’ve got to breakaway from the past,
say you’re so moving on since he's been gone,
let people know what’s behind your hazel eyes,
realize you got far in your life all because of you and the people you love,
let that person who’s pissing you off know that you’re already gone,
love being addicted to the one you love,
make sure you know where YOUR heart is,
walk away from your problems,
stop hating yourself for losing him,
make sure people can hear you and you can hear them,
and know that life can be such a beautiful disaster.

Best friends aren’t real best friends until they love you for who you are,
not what they want you to be.
They are always there for you no matter what.
Even if you’re fighting and they hate your guts, if you need them, they will be there, no questions asked.
They can always make you laugh even when you are feeling your worst.
They understand you and you don’t even have to tell them.
They are the only ones who know what “I’m okay” really means, when you’re not.
They couldn’t care less about what other people think of you and when you disappoint them,
they will let you know about it.
They are the only people on earth who could completely destroy you,
but would never dream of it.
They are the ones you spend all your time with.
You laugh with them.
You cry with them.
But most of all, best friends are the people you need in your life,
beside you at all times.
They are the people you would be lost without.

I`m the kind of girl who can talk to a
total stranger about anything & everything,
but I can`t tell my best friend how much I`m hurting.
I can let people know that I`m young & not worry about it,
but I can`t tell them how much I miss being younger.
I hate not being invited to parties only cause I feel so alone,
& I can`t understand how I don`t have many friends.
I`m the kind of girl that can be easy to fall for & the kind of girl who falls easily.
I`m the kind of girl who can pick herself up,
& I can switch my feelings in a minute.
There`s only one thing that I know I can`t do;
& that`s believe that I ever thought I`d end up with you.

Sometimes when you look back on a situation,
you realize it wasn't all you thought it was.
Someone walked into your life, you fell in love.
Or did you?Maybe it was only a childish infatuation
.Or maybe it was a brief moment of insanity.

You only find a few people in this world.
A few people who tell you they love you
&& a few who mean it with all their heart

she's beautiful, but she'll never admit it.
music makes her world go round, literally.
friends are her everything.
she's afraid of being alone.
when she smiles her whole face lights up.
& her heart has been broken by a guy who doesn't like her anymore a
nd you know what?
she`s still brave.

She’s got eyes of innocence a face of angels
a personality of a dreamer and
a smile that hides more pain than you can imagine

Tell me something real this time, and maybe I’ll believe you.

just remember ;;no matter who brings you down,
I'll bring you back up because that's just what friends do.

Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart.
If we could just remember this,
I think there would be a lot more compassion
and tolerance in the world.

Shes a daydreamer.
Everyone can see that.
But what they don't see, is her dreams.

There are two kinds of secrets:
Those we keep from others & those we keep from ourselves.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=tons_of_icons_just_4_u_13&nextdate=5%2f8%2f2007+11%3a14%3a9.400&direction=n

Photographs of Teen Spirt

Take this photograph

We'll cut it into four.

Three and one,

Four and two.

Maybe this will be the start,

Of the rest of our lives, together

Maybe we can make this work,

I hope that for both our sanities we can

They come between us sometimes

With their trivial problems

But thanks to you,

I am still fighting on

Take my heart and open it up,

See me for who I am,

Scared, awkward and alone

Then lock me back up

Tell no-one what you've seen

Can you see me now?

Can you see who I am?

Tell me who you think I am

And how I truely feel inside

Stop the pain,
Kill the pride,
Spread the love,
Try not to hide yourself.

Can you see us now, as we stand together?

The Whole Darn Thing. && Everything That Comes With It

This post is pretty much what i am thinking about lately.

Throwing away boys, and keeping the men would, yes, be awesome.
But, what makes a man a man, and a boy a boy?
I mean, how can we discern between the both? What happens if we throw away a man and keep a boy? Or Vice-Versa?
Chaos, that's what. Chaos, and hurt, and resentment.
But,....
What makes a man a man? Is it what he has or does not have? Is it age, Lack of purity, or even trials? Honestly I wish I knew, because then I could tell you whether or not it was worth it all.


Where do we draw the line between truth and lies, safety and danger, even betrayal? What about sin? When will we know we've crossed them? Will it be after its all over, when the guilt sets in or will we ever be able to tell?
I believe that we all have the ability to find the lines and test the boundaries, but sometimes people fall in. I don't want to be one of them. I don't want to betray anyone. and I really don't want to sin. Even though its inevitable. The sinning I mean. I wish the lines were drawn in fluorescent colours so that we could see them better. Then, maybe, just maybe, Things might be easier. But I doubt that.


I had a really good talk with one of my friends this morning/last night and I have to say that I'm glad that him and I got to talk. Sometimes, when I'm with him, I feel like I can say anything and not be judged and somehow, he will know exactly how I am feeling or know what I am going through. And that I have to say is amazing, and I am glad that God brought him into my life. I hope that in the future that we get to know each other better. And just get to talk or discuss, anything and everything.

I am really praying hard for my friend Fish's friends, as they are really hurt and ill right now, and she really needs help with this. She shouldn't have to go through this alone. So I just know that with enough people praying and thinking about them that there will be a miracle. So I'm just praying constantly, for them and her. Shawn, Tyler, Anna, Justin, and Kaitlin. It's hard.

I am also praying to continue to repair the relationship between me and one of my closest friends. I hate when her and I cannot talk. But we are slowly getting there. Once again I thank God that she is in my life. And I know that she is destined for great things and that she will touch a great deal of lives, like she did mine.




As I said, this post is just everything that is on my mind right now.... Well not everything. But yeah... This is The Whole Darn Thing && Everything That Comes With It.

Zombies, Cranberries, and Concerts.

"Zombie" -- The Cranberries

***This is a song I might be singing with aarika at our concert on the 31st of May....You should come.***

Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...

Another mother's breakin',
Heart is taking over.
When the vi'lence causes silence,
We must be mistaken.

It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen.
In your head, in your head they're still fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are dying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, oh, ya, ya-a...

&& He talked to me.

He talked to me. Sure I talked to him first but he didn't ignore me this time. It was... wow.

I realized that I do miss him, even though I no longer feel the same way I once did about him and that I do not hate him as much as I say I do.

It was weird. Although I still like this other guy more, I cannot help but think about him. Why? Because it really affected me.

And yeah... wow.

Remedy

Stop.
Stop it all.
Stop my pain, and all my thoughts.
Stop my heart.

Stillness
Can you feel it?
The air, my lungs, your heart.
I want to make this moment last.
Last forever.

For my friends-
These are things I can never say to you guys.
Why? Because it would kill me to do so mostly
because I am too scared to or I don't want to hurt you.
*If you think one is you e-mail me
and I will tell you if you are right or wrong*
*Some people may be done twice or more*

I want to talk to you so bad. Just pour out my mind and heart. Talk about things that are real.
And you not walking away from me all time would help.


What is happening between us? We used to talk so much. And as I look at you I cannot help but to wonder how deep our friendship really was.

It's amazing how similar our lives are. What we both have gone through is even more amazing. You may be a little older but that doesn't matter in the end. We will always be together (I hope).

You are so beautiful. Never forget that. And he may be the one for you, so never give up hope. He will be here sometime. Never give up on anything. You are truly amazing.

I know you really liked him and dare I say loved, but he obviously wasn't the one for you. And please Hun don't go into another physical based relationship, because you will just get hurt. I'm sorry to say, but it is true.

You will find love. And she will make you happier than anyone ever could. So cheer up, and realize that it is not all over, and that no one else may be able to see through your mask but the thing is, it is becoming slightly translucent to me.

I love that fact that you and I have been getting closer lately. You have been there for me when I feel like everyone has walked away from me. I hope that we grow closer, and that we can continue to be able to talk about everything. And deep down you know you do like him more than you will admit to. And I hope that someday you get him, or find a guy like him, because you deserve it.

I love you so much. and I know that I can be a pain, but you need to trust me. Because I need you. And I would die for you. I hope he makes you happy too, even though I cannot remember what he looks like, or even if it is the right guy. But you too will be able to say *I love you* to someone one day. I have faith in you.

Take pride in the fact that you are different. God made you that way. And Chances are that is why I am friends with you. Because you broke the mold and found me of all people. Y'all are the thing that makes me strong when I am week, you are my REMEDY.

I miss you so much and I cannot wait until next summer. I hope I can see you then. We will go and get attractive swollen feet together.

I want to get to know you better. But we never seem to have time to get together. So maybe we should spend a day or something together and just hang. You and me. lol. Lets jsut you be you and me be me, and it will be all okay.

Failed Attempts of Truth

Sing me something that you mean
From your heart and straight to me
Every word will be in key, except for one
Those seven letters I hate most

Goodbye.

What ever happened to the truth? What happened to talking about things that are real? I miss that. I wish I knew what happened. I miss us. Is there an US? Can't we be where we are and still be real?
Failed attempts to talk to you, is I have to remember. And I don't want to say goodbye.

Hey you, yeah you
Playing with my hope for truth
You always know just what to say
to make me lose my confidence
it's here and then it's gone again
maybe it's better off this way
with pathetic me, just pathetically
singing myself sick

Whenever I am near you I stutter and stumble and do not know what to say. You make me act crazy. So I just sing myself to sleep. And think back on what was said. What was done.
Please stop walking away from me... I'm sure one of these times we'll get it right. And maybe, just maybe, I will stop thinking you are going to let me down, and be able to be more true than ever to you.

Stuck in the Storm-Too Sorry for Apologies

Stuck in the Storm- Too Sorry For Apologies
Verse 1
I'll be leaving soon, but I believe in you
I'll find a way
to make it feel alright, the long days and longer nights
this can be OK
Just promise me it's everything, just promise me
Just promise me it's everything, I'll do the same
Chorus
Cause when the days are getting colder I miss you most
I'm stuck out in a rainstorm, but you're my coat
to keep me safe, to keep me warm
cause without you I'm just stuck in the storm
Bridge
just breathe out a little bit, I'll be there soon
I'm there for you too
Just fly a flag a little bit, we'll be okay
Chorus
Cause when the days are getting colder I miss you most
I'm stuck out in a rainstorm, but you're my coat
to keep me safe, to keep me warm
cause without you I'm just stuck in the storm
and the days are getting colder, I miss you more
then I ever did or ever could before
just open up

A Tale of a Beautiful Heart

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town, proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, and old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why, your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right, and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared. "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?", they thought.

The young man looked at the old man's heart, saw its state, and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine: mine is perfect, and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking, but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of their heart to me. These are the empty gouges. Giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore, but more beautiful then ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.