Serious Post Time. -dundunDUN-

For the first time, in a long time, I can honestly say I am happy. I took the leap, in getting my life in the direction I wanted it to go. And now? Now I'm traveling, going to school in the fall, and surrounding myself in everything I want.

In less than a month, I am going to the United Kingdom, with my wonderful boyfriend. I get to spend and entire month, gallivanting all over England, Scotland, and Ireland. It feels almost surreal. If a year ago, someone would have told me, that I was going to be doing this, I wouldn't believe it. AND! To add to my travel plans for the year, I will also be going to Calgary (for CCEE), Toronto, and down to the States to visit my grandma.

I've been surrounding myself, with people who accept me for me. Who understand, when I speak. Who love me. And MY GOSH, it. feels. GOOD.

I also quit my job about a week ago, because it was just getting to ridiculous.

Then I applied for school, and will hopefully be going to school in the fall, for business.

It was terrifiying, taking that step. To quit everything I've ever known, and give in to happiness.
To life.

And it feels good.

"Hello World, Here I AM"

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

-Runaway-

Runaway.

She's a runaway.

She's got this dark side,

Full of things she wants to hide.

But instead she runs away.

She's a runaway.



But not today.
Today she stood tall.
Today, she saw her life, 
going the way she wanted.

She wasn't scared.
She wasn't alone.




For once in her life, she didn't runaway.
For once, she is truly, completely
Happy
 

Ever After (Happily Sold Seperatly)

I cannot wait to get my wings
Because maybe, just maybe
I will finally be able to fly
Fly away, and (almost) never look back

Part of me wants to just quit everything
and run away and hide
Hide away with a perfect man
Who has offered me a chance to get away

But it's not all that realistic
Things would fall to shambles
With me gone
Gone more than a few hours

I just want a happily ever after
Not this current moment
But eventually.
I think I can wait for him

But for now, I will paint on my wings
Turn my face to the sky
And just hope that someone is listening
And will save me,
From me.

Porcelain

"You thought by now you'd have it all figured out
You can't erase the way it pulls when the seasons change
It hurts sometimes to find where you begin
But you are Perfect Porcelain

The slow and simple melody of tears you cannot keep from me
It's alright if you don't know what you need
I'm right here when
You need someone to see
It's not 'speak or forever hold your peace'
It's alright to take time and find where you've been
You are Perfect Porcelain

When you heart releases
You won't fall to peices
You'll let those old diseases lie
And your heart releases
You won't fall to pieces
And your breath comes crashing in
Like Perfect Porcelain"

This is my current favourite song off of the newest Mariana's Trench CD, "Ever After*"
It speaks to my heart and soul. And I hope it speaks to others.



<3

"Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her"

I won't lie, 

I miss her.

But, right now

I'm me

That's it, that's all.

I'm who I want to be

No wild expectations

No judging.

No drama.

And right now? That's exactly what I need.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger 

Just me, myself and I  

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger 

Stand a little taller  

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone"

-untitled-

You say you know me,

But you don't.

You say you'll "own" me,

But you won't.

These lives we lead are nothing but a sham of shambles.

We say we know our selves, that we know each other.

Tell me, when did the world turn to lies?

Better yet, tell me, when did it start feeling good to lie.

Was it the day that the realization that one could make anyone believe anything? Or was it the day one realizes they could, and would lose it all, if they told the complete and whole truth?

Think.

Breathe.

Let it all go.

Then move on.

Nobody knows (me) anymore.

And maybe I like it that way...

Who

I'm broken and changed,

Never whole, but made new.

It's a new kind of feeling.

How do I ever tell you, "I'm scared"?

I've been turned upside down.

Left.

Right.

Told I am wrong, 

And not me.

But then who is?

In this crazy life we lead
I've grown up
Moved out
And carried on
Just to keep

Calm

Who I was

Is never coming back.

Just as

Tomorrow will be different

So will I.

So I ask then

Who, is... me?

Just... Breathe.

I need to learn to breathe,

Instead of just freak out

Maybe take some time to dream

Things can get crazy, 

Then again, so can life.

I need to learn to take

The good with the bad.

Maybe if I slow down, 

Maybe if I don't do a million things

Maybe, just maybe

Life might make sense.

But that's not me.

Never has, and maybe never will.

Life has to be busy,

Just to function.

I think I might take some time

Maybe to to breathe

And work through life.

One.

Breath.

At.

A.

Time.

Tonight, tonight.

Take a deep breath
Take a step back
There's only so much a person can take


I might snap tonight
Just up and leave
Try and stop me.
(Nothing can stop this)

I'm a force to be reckoned with
I'm the wind unleashed
I'm stronger than you think
(Nothing can stop me)

Step back,
Let me breathe.
And I swear,
Everything will be okay.


It's my life
And I'm gonna live it
It's all I can do
(You will never stop me)


                   Tonight, I swear that I mean every word...