Monday, 30 April 2007

&& He talked to me.

He talked to me. Sure I talked to him first but he didn't ignore me this time. It was... wow.

I realized that I do miss him, even though I no longer feel the same way I once did about him and that I do not hate him as much as I say I do.

It was weird. Although I still like this other guy more, I cannot help but think about him. Why? Because it really affected me.

And yeah... wow.

Sunday, 29 April 2007


Stop it all.
Stop my pain, and all my thoughts.
Stop my heart.

Can you feel it?
The air, my lungs, your heart.
I want to make this moment last.
Last forever.

For my friends-
These are things I can never say to you guys.
Why? Because it would kill me to do so mostly
because I am too scared to or I don't want to hurt you.
*If you think one is you e-mail me
and I will tell you if you are right or wrong*
*Some people may be done twice or more*

I want to talk to you so bad. Just pour out my mind and heart. Talk about things that are real.
And you not walking away from me all time would help.

What is happening between us? We used to talk so much. And as I look at you I cannot help but to wonder how deep our friendship really was.

It's amazing how similar our lives are. What we both have gone through is even more amazing. You may be a little older but that doesn't matter in the end. We will always be together (I hope).

You are so beautiful. Never forget that. And he may be the one for you, so never give up hope. He will be here sometime. Never give up on anything. You are truly amazing.

I know you really liked him and dare I say loved, but he obviously wasn't the one for you. And please Hun don't go into another physical based relationship, because you will just get hurt. I'm sorry to say, but it is true.

You will find love. And she will make you happier than anyone ever could. So cheer up, and realize that it is not all over, and that no one else may be able to see through your mask but the thing is, it is becoming slightly translucent to me.

I love that fact that you and I have been getting closer lately. You have been there for me when I feel like everyone has walked away from me. I hope that we grow closer, and that we can continue to be able to talk about everything. And deep down you know you do like him more than you will admit to. And I hope that someday you get him, or find a guy like him, because you deserve it.

I love you so much. and I know that I can be a pain, but you need to trust me. Because I need you. And I would die for you. I hope he makes you happy too, even though I cannot remember what he looks like, or even if it is the right guy. But you too will be able to say *I love you* to someone one day. I have faith in you.

Take pride in the fact that you are different. God made you that way. And Chances are that is why I am friends with you. Because you broke the mold and found me of all people. Y'all are the thing that makes me strong when I am week, you are my REMEDY.

I miss you so much and I cannot wait until next summer. I hope I can see you then. We will go and get attractive swollen feet together.

I want to get to know you better. But we never seem to have time to get together. So maybe we should spend a day or something together and just hang. You and me. lol. Lets jsut you be you and me be me, and it will be all okay.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Failed Attempts of Truth

Sing me something that you mean
From your heart and straight to me
Every word will be in key, except for one
Those seven letters I hate most


What ever happened to the truth? What happened to talking about things that are real? I miss that. I wish I knew what happened. I miss us. Is there an US? Can't we be where we are and still be real?
Failed attempts to talk to you, is I have to remember. And I don't want to say goodbye.

Hey you, yeah you
Playing with my hope for truth
You always know just what to say
to make me lose my confidence
it's here and then it's gone again
maybe it's better off this way
with pathetic me, just pathetically
singing myself sick

Whenever I am near you I stutter and stumble and do not know what to say. You make me act crazy. So I just sing myself to sleep. And think back on what was said. What was done.
Please stop walking away from me... I'm sure one of these times we'll get it right. And maybe, just maybe, I will stop thinking you are going to let me down, and be able to be more true than ever to you.

Saturday, 14 April 2007

Stuck in the Storm-Too Sorry for Apologies

Stuck in the Storm- Too Sorry For Apologies
Verse 1
I'll be leaving soon, but I believe in you
I'll find a way
to make it feel alright, the long days and longer nights
this can be OK
Just promise me it's everything, just promise me
Just promise me it's everything, I'll do the same
Cause when the days are getting colder I miss you most
I'm stuck out in a rainstorm, but you're my coat
to keep me safe, to keep me warm
cause without you I'm just stuck in the storm
just breathe out a little bit, I'll be there soon
I'm there for you too
Just fly a flag a little bit, we'll be okay
Cause when the days are getting colder I miss you most
I'm stuck out in a rainstorm, but you're my coat
to keep me safe, to keep me warm
cause without you I'm just stuck in the storm
and the days are getting colder, I miss you more
then I ever did or ever could before
just open up

Wednesday, 11 April 2007

A Tale of a Beautiful Heart

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town, proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, and old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why, your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."
The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right, and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared. "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?", they thought.

The young man looked at the old man's heart, saw its state, and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine: mine is perfect, and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking, but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.
Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of their heart to me. These are the empty gouges. Giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore, but more beautiful then ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Two is a magical number.

Two hearts beating as one.

I want to lay my head on your chest and just hear your heart beating.

Two minds thinking as one.

I want to hear your thoughts and know where you stand on issues.

Two hands joined together

I want to hold your hand when I'm scared[and when your scared], and know everything will be alright.

Two lives joined as one.

I want to be with you forever.

To bad I cannot have what I want or be with you...

Monday, 9 April 2007

Push You. Pull Me.

Pushed away.
That's where all her friends end up,
Where does she stand?
Alone in a corner

She tries hard to bring them closer,
Only to end up pushing them away
Divulging secrets on how she feels
Only to get shoved further

Talk to her,
You'll see she's not so bad,
Her feelings a little mixed up,
With scenarios playing through her head
She's never had it all planned out
And now it all changes
Just give her time to realize your worth and take the time to realize hers.

Sunday, 8 April 2007


Lets get this straight,
I made a
And now you cannot stand to talk to me.

But can't you see?
That I am only human
And that this is how it is?

If I did something wrong
or hurt you in anyway,
or even made you uncomfortable
tell me and I will stop.

Talk to me,
Show that I truely am alive
And I will belive what you say

Cant we just forget this even happend and make up and be friends?


Like superman in his fortress of solitude
I am all alone
Nothing can reach me out here
Not even Kryptonite
Did you know that you are my kryptonite?
You make me weak, you make me strong
You make me rebel against every instinct in my body.
You make me show everything I usually Hide.
I wish I was superman, Just so that I could run from you.


Every time I look into your eyes
I see something new,
And yet something familiar and inviting

Our eyes locked once again,
My eyes, questioning
Yours almost begging.
Begging mine to understand
And figure out
What they are really saying.

But I can't.
Because I don't understand.
The language your eyes are speaking is new,
And I cannot decipher it.

Won't you teach me something new? Won't you teach me the language of your eyes, Won't you please teach me the language of love?

Saturday, 7 April 2007

Sweet Beans, Cool Action

Friends 'til the end
That's what was promised
But what if it all changes, my friend.
What if one goes away?

Plans get changed,
Promises broken,
But one thing remains true
I'll always be here[there] for you.

Secrets, laughter,
Pain and smiles
"I'd swim oceans for you"
This is all true, back at you.

So tell me the truth,
because from you I can take it,
This is for real,
Even if it ends bittersweet.

So take this with you where ever you go,
I hope our lives intertwine,
For you I'd run a thousand miles
Be with you until I die.

Sweet Beans and Cool Action, My Sister, My Friend